Podcast S1 E12: The 10th Apple

 Hi and a warm hello from Lost in Labyrinth. We are a family of 160 subscribers now and it gives me immense pleasure and sense of purpose. So thank you from the bottom of my heart!

I am about to narrate a short story to you before I arrive on today's topic. Some of you may have heard this before but still...Once a professor asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. The students, caught off guard by the sudden announcement, started waiting anxiously for the test to begin making some last minute revisions. The professor in the meantime took out some sheets of paper from his bag and started arranging them with text facing down. Once the sheets were distributed to all the professor asked them to begin. To everyone's surprise there were no questions, just a little black dot somewhere at the bottom of the page. The professor, then said, "I want you to write what you see there." The students were confused, shared muddled glances with one another and then got to the task at hand. At the end of the stipulated time, the professor collected all the sheets and begin reading them aloud one after the other. All of the students, without an exception wrote about the black dot and its position on the paper. After reading the last of the paper, the professor now said, " I am not going to grade you on this paper, but want you all to think about this! All of you wrote about the black dot on the paper. Not one wrote about white. And this is exactly what we do with our lives. Our lives is just like the white paper and yet we always focus on the black. " He continued, " When you look at life, look at the white- the positives, the good, the blessings and cherish them. And you will have so many things in the life to be grateful for! " 

Gratitude is what helps people refocus on what they have instead of what they lack. However it's easier said than done! Even if we chose to look at the positives, how often are we grateful for what we have? 

Do you remember the thrill of getting that first car by your parents or when you received that first remote like cell phone or for me my first branded shades? It was unmatched! But over the time as our needs, our luxury changed our attitude towards receiving or acquiring things changed. At least for me, I can't recall the last time I felt that kind of kick or a thrill I felt then.    A couple of days ago someone very dear to me shared with me a story of a 10th apple. And I have to share it with you...A hunter once lost his way in the forest chasing a deer. For three days he could neither find his way out nor could he find something to eat. On the third day when he suddenly discovered a fully laden apple tree his joy knew no bounds. He was so grateful to the God, to the universe for looking after him and quickly collected a few. When he bit into the first apple he was ecstatic, rejoicing with joy. He had never tasted an apple so sweet! Upon finishing the first, he hurriedly started on second and then third. The third apple was not as sweet. The sweetness of the apple along with his appetite and gratefulness had reduced drastically by the time he reached the 10th apple. 

In economics it is called the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility and in life it is called the Law of Diminishing Gratefulness! How often do we display our thankfulness for people, things or experiences that makes our life brighter, things that make our lives better? " A prophet is not honored in his own country"  or more commonly heard, ghar ki murgi daal barabar! Though the expression is quite loosely used the emotion behind it is quite understated. 

The Western world celebrates Thanksgiving for this sole intention, to profess their appreciation for friends, family. As for Hindus gratitude is exalted as one of the most important virtues. The simple act of offering bhog/prasadam everyday to the deity before the family sits down to eat is nothing but expressing thanks for being provided with food. It is a way of life!

My point here is don't make these things ritualistic. Embrace them in its true spirit! And as for people, family- don't take them for granted. I am sure all of us can think of times when you snubbed your parents, your siblings or your partner for disturbing you in course of a busy day. No one can be perfect and things like these happen. But did you make it up for them somehow? Some special gesture?? It is that after thought which is lacking but very important. Our lives are worth living because of these special people so often taken for granted, often making them our punching bags instead!

So my dear listeners focus on the white and people who make it white for us! Appreciate their presence, make them feel special time and again. Be more grateful and less entitled and that makes all the difference. Importantly, instill this feeling in children! 

As someone rightly put,

" Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for abundance. "

I have been truly grateful to you all for your love and time on Lost in Labyrinth. Your guidance and comments have been very enriching for me on this journey. And I shall always cherish that! This is the close of Season 1 for me! With your blessings I shall soon return... Untill then wishing you a grateful and fruitful week ahead! 

Goodbye!

Podcast S1 E11: Revel in Rivalry

 Hi and a big thank you for your time on Lost in Labyrinth.

Recently I read something that brought to effect a changed perspective. It is quite intriguing to me and I have often been surprised by how influences come from the most unlikely of places. In 2007 I read a masterpiece " Freakonomics" co-authored by economist Steve Levitt and New York Times journalist Stephen J Dubner. The book had me at the prologue. The book opens on the discussion of surging crime rates in US for about three decades between 1960s to 1990s. Even the most pessimistic estimate stated that the crime rates would double. Everyone was scared. The Republicans and Democrats agreed alike that violent crimes are out of hand and the criminals are only getting younger. They tried everything in their power- better policing, reintroduction of capital punishment, boasting a strong economy, or demise of crack epidemic to check this menace but failed miserably. But in early 1990s, to everyone's amazement, somehow the numbers started dwindling. But what lead to this unprecedented and wildly unexpected turnaround? A theory that surfaced was quirky but had great explanatory power. You see, the US Supreme Court legalized abortion in all 50 states that lead to sharp decline in unwanted pregnancies. These abortions resulted in plunging numbers of uncared for, uneducated youth which were more drawn to these criminal activities. Surprising isn't it but probable, hell yeah!! 

In one of my previous episodes 'Stamping Lives' I narrated how we are caught up in the circle of influence-both receiving and imparting...sharing my experiences as a parent. 

We Hindus observed Janmashtmi recently and it was on this occasion I read the following that changed my world view significantly.

While the battle of Kurukshetra was at its peak, Arjun and Karan were fighting each other ferociously. As the legend goes, the flurry of arrows were being exchanged and even the gods were witnessing this epic battle between the two warriors. Arjun would shoot his arrows and impact was such that Karan's chariot would be pushed back by 25-30 feet. Karan was no less. When he shot his arrow the chariot of Arjun would be pushed back too for about a couple of feet. Every time Karan's arrow hit Arjun's chariot, Krishna would applaud Karan wholeheartedly. Not once in the whole battle he complimented Arjun for his performance. Puzzled at the end of the day, Arjun asked, " O Lord, I shot so many arrows that displaced Karan's chariot like a feather in the wind, but not once you appreciated. While when Karan moved my chariot only a little you showered him so generously with your praise?" Krishna smiled and replied, " Dear Arjun remember your chariot is protected by Hanuman on the flag at the top. You have me as a the charioteer in the front and Sheshnaag at the wheels. And yet when valiant Karan would hit us the chariot would get inched away. On the other hand Karan is fighting audaciously on his own."  This made Arjun realise he had to fight with the best of what he got. It is said that after the battle of Kurukshetra was over, Krishna refused to alight the chariot before Arjun. Once Krishna got off the chariot was up in flames and was soon reduced to dust. 

Ever felt, how sometimes your adversary, influences your action and challenges you in a fashion that is very stimulating. Often we carry a negative emotion towards people we feel impugn us. And yet they drive us to excel. 

Steve Jobs and Bill Gates is the closest example I can think of. They were starkly different personalities united in their love for technology. Their 'frenemy' relationship time and again proved how your nemesis can be your biggest driving force. Jobs mentioned Gates as someone with a bad taste who was not good in getting creative ideas and going in minor details. Whereas Bill Gates looked down upon Steve Jobs for being arrogant and his inability to do coding. However their love for technology was so great that when Apple was sinking it was funding from Bill Gates that caused Apple to rebound. Gates has been public with his remark that Steve Jobs is a visionary and really inspires him!

The world of sports is replete with such examples. Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal are not only the closest of buddies but have a great mutual admiration for one another. The couple have fought each other for 16 years on the ATP tour and are just one Grand Slam title apart on top of all-time list.  Austrian racer Nikki Lauda and British F1 driver James Hunt is another glorious instance. 

So my dear listeners, I today share with you this most recent lesson into respecting our rivals. Always keep an open mind when you are challenged and toil hard towards victory without directing your contention to hatred. Always always keep your efforts the center of your attention and not the person who you are challenging. Be honest in your appreciation. A worthy opponent only amplifies your performance, enabling you to learn and grow.

With the following parting thought I wish you a positive outlook and a happy weekend.

"Of all torments, all the cares,

With which our lives are curst,

Of all the plagues a lover bears,

Sure rivals are the worst!

By partners in each other kind,

Afflictions easier grow;

In love alone we hate to find

Companions of our woe! " 

Goodbye!

Podcast S1 E10: Celebrate your Unique!

Hello and welcome to Lost in Labyrinth.  

It is the month of August and the dog days of summers are upon us. The year change is 5 months shy and God alone knows what other calamity is left more to witness! The Beirut explosion, termed as " unquestionably one of the biggest non-nuclear explosions in history" by the experts, is said to have about one-tenth of explosive power of the atomic bomb dropped over the Japanese city during the World War 2, incidentally also marking its anniversary on August 6th.

My sanguine thoughts and prayer for the people in Lebanon to overcome this loss and the socio-political unrest! 

The gloomy event brings us to the topic today- Yugen and more importantly wabi-sabi.

The word Yugen derives its origin from Japan, meaning mysterious grace. It is an aspect of Japanese aesthetics which means a profound, mysterious sense of beauty of the universe and of the sad suffering. Which leads us to wabi- sabi- a world view centered on acceptance of transience and imperfections. A beauty that you seek, in which, is imperfect, impermanent and incomplete. Because that infact is the real beauty. The Japanese culture has always inspired me. The way they build themselves up, after all was left devastated. They understand loss, natural calamities given all the earthquake and volcanoes they have to endure and yet they leave no stone unturned in making astounding progress. And that gives me hope! 

Time and again we have directed our appreciation towards objects, things and people perceived to check certain boxes/ standards that society at large has set. In the world do you dare to be your own? Do you have the courage to stand your ground and defy the empty standards someone said you must adhere to? 

There is a short story about a washer woman who worked as a laundress for a merchant residing on top of a hill. Every day she would walk down the hill to collect water from the stream nearby. When she was young she made two pots and colored them red and blue which made it easy for her to collect water. She loved her pots. Everyday she would walk downhill, carry a pole on her shoulders upon which she hung her beautiful pots. The water she carried was enough to do laundry. As the time passed by she noticed the blue pot has developed a slender crack along its side. She whispered, " My poor pot, will you still hold the water for me?" Some time passed by and the crack kept getting bigger. The blue pot worried now that soon it will be discarded by the woman as the pot could only carry half of its capacity. One morning when the woman was collecting water from the stream, she heard someone wail. Looking over the shoulder curiously, she noticed the crying was coming from somewhere close. She asked amazed, " Is that you blue pot? Are you speaking my dear?"  " It is I", the pot said, " and sorry to have failed you." Overjoyed the woman answered, " You don't understand, just look around". For the first time the pot stopped looking inward and instead looked at the path over the hill. On the right side he noticed the path was edged with blooming flowers poppies, daises and peonies. Like a ribbon of color ran through, it was such a delightful sight. The lady now spoke, " I knew about your crack and decided to plant seeds. Everyday you would water them and just see what a beautiful difference you made to the world!" 

All the sadness of the blue pot was gone, for it understood, that every being has its unique features. And it is for these little quirks that makes this world so interesting!

I, for one represented state in basketball and have loved the sport more than anything. The sound of basketball dribbling is music to my ears still. However that was not a very viable career choice. Being fickle minded person, being a hair dresser was next on the list. But coming from a family where education means so much more, that didn't fly too. I remember how my insistence to not do MBA directly after the graduation was questioned too? But I am happy how things unfolded for me and I wouldn't have it any other way! 

I am glad we are living in times where our next generation is met with more acceptance for their choices- eccentric or not. This attitudinal shift is apparent in the movies that are made today, the unconventional casts, choice of clothing, non- binary lifestyle- you just name it! And I am so elated it does...

So here's the post calling out and cheering for celebrating your imperfections. May you find your beauty, your wabi- sabi in your uniqueness. It's time you get boasting... And with the following parting thought, I bid you good bye and wish you a happy and relaxed weekend forward!

"You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge.

Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone- profusely. But don't apologize for being who you are."

Catch you next Friday!

Podcast S1 E9: Nix it, Fix it!

Hi and a big welcome to Lost in Labyrinth!

I have enjoyed bringing to you these last 8 podcast. My process usually begins by the ensuing weekend where I ponder over the next topic that I strongly feel about. Monday is a busy day, I do bit of a research and identify the structure in my head. Time permitting, I write my first draft. If not Monday then Tuesday. Wednesday morning I wake up early, to make the most of my free time as the summer vacations have begun and finalize the content to write, something like a final copy. Taking in a few suggestions over the next 2 days,  Friday is when I record and release the podcast. The reason why I am telling you all this is because of late I received at least  15 requests to post a monogram picture with challenge accepted. Not a very social media driven person , I decided to read about what this campaign is. The more I read about it, the further I found my friends to the real cause. The cause first launched about a week and a half ago snowballed into something so big but so distant from the actual cause. As of yesterday there were 53,00,000 Instagram images viral under this hashtag! Finally yesterday all the major media houses picked up the news and decided to propagate it. I am sure by now all of you know the real cause. How this all impacted me? I had to delete the whole post and Thursday, today is when I am writing anew. 

So what better than to dedicate this post to last minute improvs whether a goof-up or not!!

I am sure all of us have encountered such situations and I certainly have a plethora of examples to share. I am always the goofy one! But on a brighter side searching for last minute fixes is a brilliant exercise in cultivate smartness. As goes the Murphy Law adage, if something has to go wrong it will! So what then are the take aways from these situations: Being responsive and spontaneous, thinking on your feet, to have solution-oriented outlook, not giving up and most importantly developing a sense of humor to look at the lighter side of things- some of the absolute essential qualities to have!

You will be surprised to know how some of the iconic TV moments have accredited their success to such mishappenings, so as to say! Poor TV writers, they take months and months to perfect their scripts, only for some bizarre quirk at the last minute that changes everything, making the improvised moment the best bit in the entire episode. Like the best came from which is never planned! 

David Schwimmer accidentally called "Rachel" at Ross's wedding. Writer Greg Malins revealed that David mistakenly said Rachel and they liked the twist so much that they completely rewrote the whole season 5 finale. 

Or, the Office wouldn't have existed if Ricky Gervais wasn't so lazy! Why? Because his long time colleague and co-writer Stephan Merchant only started working with him when he needed an assistant, working in London in 1997. He admitted he called Stephan for an interview because his was the first CV that was handed to Ricky and he was so lazy to go through the others. Within a year, they were co-hosting their own radio show and the rest is history!

There are plenty other examples, NCIS the famous 'Gibbs slap' was an actual slap that was never scripted. Or in Breaking Bad, the runaway scene, in season 2, where Jesse dashes for Walt's car to run away from Hank and his men was so much more intense when the car door actually jammed, and the director decided to keep it.

Professionally, I have fair share of moments that I can share with you, but I'd rather refrain. Talking about my personal life though, I did my college from St. Xavier's , Mumbai. It was my dream, for the better part of my teenage years and I was ecstatic to get an interview. Full of nervousness and optimism when my turn came, I seated myself infront of the panel of interviewers. Allow me describe it to you...It was a relatively large room with somehow a small table and there were 5 people sitting around to fire questions at you. I seated myself confidently opposite to them and started answering. Once I start speaking, there is this whole flow of thoughts that run through my mind amid answering. In the middle of this whole session I realized, this whole time, I had placed my foot on top of one of these interviewers. Too nervous now to move I chose to keep it for the rest of interview. Towards the end someone asked, the course you have opted for requires you to be very confident and how do we know that you will be even when things go south? Finding myself at the loss of any clever answer at that moment, I answered, that sometime in the middle of the interview I realized my folly, but continued to do so knowing both of us are now comfortable with the arrangement goes to speak a lot about my confidence! The panel burst into laughter and thanked me for reviving their day with humor!

I am almost certain each of one will have a story like this to share where your goof-up was well concealed with some last minute fixes. After all it is well said,

" Never judge a person for their mistakes,

  Judge a person on how they fix them! "

And with that wishing you a very joyous weekend ahead and hoping to read some of your stories in the  comments! Goodbye and take care.

 

 

 

Podcast S1 E8: Change: the 'New Normal'

Hi welcome back to Lost in Labyrinth. Its my pleasure to have you with me!

Allow me to set a context for today's topic........ The Covid calamity that we are facing not only brought to fore how resilient we actually are but it also brought to spotlight the battles each one of us is fighting! Among the things we are most sure about is the uncertainty that these times made us witness. The ripple effect from the disease is felt world wide whether on work front or otherwise. And the only thing staring in our face in these ambiguous times is, dropping a C-word here, is Change. Change that has truly emerged as the only constant. Which brings us to the more apt question, what is our aptitude towards change? Do we welcome a change or despise it? What is our change readiness? 

Let me attempt at putting this in perspective, through a short story. This is a story about a little kid who lost his father when he was only 5. By 16, he quit school and the following year he had already lost 4 jobs. By 18 he was married and by the end of his teenage years he was father to a daughter. At 20 his wife left him. He was working as a Railroad conductor when he decided to join the Army, but was washed out. He applied for law school but was rejected. He became an insurance sales man but failed again. He then became a cook and a dishwasher at a small cafe. At 65, he retired and the government send him a cheque of $105. He felt like a failure and was so dejected and wanted to commit a suicide. He sat down to write his will, but instead he began writing what would he have done with his life. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became he is a cook second to none. Determined he got up, borrowed another $87. And made something special using his special recipe. Care to venture a guess?!       This man was Colonel Harland Sanders who sold his very special fried chicken. By 88, he was a billionaire with KFC being the second largest food chain in the world and a presence in 123 countries.

Change and transition goes hand in hand. Sometimes it is a disappointment and sometimes a wonderful surprise. But one thing is amply clear that progress is impossible without change! So then how do we cope with change? It's a 5 fold process.

Firstly stop expecting stability- remember change is hardest in the beginning, messiest in the middle and best in the end!

Second, accept the past and fight for the future you deem is rightful

Third, focus on values more than fear

Fourth, instead of talking about problems, think about solutions

And fifth, don't stress about stressing!- If you can find humor in the whole situation that is very uplifting.

As an Indian woman we are subjected to more changes than in most of the countries. For one when we marry, suddenly a carefree girl is expected to be a perfect woman. Bless my in-laws, not everyone is as lucky! And once you are a mother, ohh boy, that is an entirely new league! Everything changes physically, mentally, emotionally, metaphysically and/or any other realms there maybe. No wonder theory goes woman is better suited to handle change than their male counterparts. Even countries with female leadership were better at handling the Covid crisis. Well I am clearly digressing here.

So moving on, don't assign a time stamp to the outcome of the change. London is 5 hours ahead of Washington, but that doesn't make Washington slow. Or that Obama retired at 55 and Trump only began at 70. The examples are dime a dozen- Ronald Reagan didn't make it to Hollywood but became the 40th US President and for consecutively 2 terms between 1981 to 1989. Or Peter Roget, who invented Thesaurus at the age of 73.

My point being Change. Change is risky but also beautiful. With each change you discover more of yourself. So embrace the uncertainty, keep that unwavering spirit to plunge and join the dance!

Like Socrates rightly put,

" The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old,

   But on building the New."

Good bye and have a pleasant weekend!

Podcast S1 E7: Ignorance is Bliss!!

Hi it's so good to welcome you back to Lost in Labyrinth. And a warm hello to the new listeners!

Recently I came across something that just caught my attention,            the Dork Day observed on July 15th every year. Upon researching, I found there is no documented origin of the day but this day encourages us to celebrate our imperfections, by doing things " dorky" ! There is no need to be prim or proper, but a day to completely disregard norms or what others think is acceptable. A day to celebrate being clumsy, goofy, a social misfit! I certainly have some ideas!!       Do you have any secret desire to do something you always wanted to do but the societal norms got the better of you?? 

Taking this a step further have you ever enjoyed being silly or ignorant?Will love to hear some of your stories.

Recounting my childhood days, I have literally thanked God, still do, for being ignorant. Talking about the summers of 2001, not every home had internet and I wasn't into reading newspapers and all. I had given my class Xth boards and was having the time of my life, reading Sidney Sheldons by the day and playing and catching up with friends in the evening- basically idling and goofing around. Our dot phone was out of order for a couple of days- not that I cared, but its been some days since I last spoke with my school friends! One afternoon just as I was about to sit for lunch, my grandfather came calling, asking how did I fare in my Boards? To tell you honestly, I didn't think about the results or exams the minute after I submitted my last answer sheet. And suddenly out of no where the results were out! I was made to finish my food and I then went to my school, which was just a stone throw away! I had passed with distinction and just like that the first milestone of student's life was accomplished! It breaks my heart to see the pressure, the anxiety, the stress little kids now endure in anticipation of their results. Drawing a parallel to the two scenarios, I found my bliss in being ignorant! I could truly enjoy, my result in its true essence in that moment, without the paraphernalia leading to it, which has surprisingly become an accepted norm these days. 

US and Russia have always been at loggerheads. In early 1960s, there was a conflict over Russian missiles in Cuba. The Russians conceded to moving their missiles as long as US moved their installations from Turkey. US under the leadership JFK, was unaware about any of their installations in Turkey were simply told that Russians were made to back down from Cuba. Much alike Russians who said Americans were forced to remove their missiles from Turkey under the great Russian leadership! The public being none the wiser!! 

Some people consider ignorance and stupidity to be synonymous. And hence the word / the adjective is frowned upon. Ever heard anyone state being ignorant as a weakness while giving an interview?

Now consider this, a child enjoys his trip to Disney Land without a worry of the money spent on the trip. Or would you be able to enjoy the slice of that decadent chocolate cake knowing each slice has roughly 450 calories? While knowledge is Power, ignorance sometimes leads you to that unblemished joy of the moment!! Ignorance, simply put, is just a lack of knowledge. Which can be acquired over the time with an intent. On a positive side, being ignorant gives you a pursuit to learn something. It is that blessing in disguise that provides you with the urge to try something new; which eventually most of us do knowing there is something we are unaware of. Even the Major Arcana Fool's card in Tarot depicts a youth joyfully undertaking his journey. It is a card that signifies infinite potential, new beginnings filled with optimism and freedom from the usual constraints of life. He inspires courage for he understands that everyday is a chance to open up new areas in your life and with that comes a mixture of anticipation, wonder, awe and curiosity. Just the lens we need to see our ignorance with.

So next time don't be ashamed if you are caught unaware about something. Enjoy the bliss of the moment and gear up to embark on an adventurous journey! Afterall it is said,

"To admit ignorance is the highest knowledge. It is the highest condition for all learning."

So my dear dorks, enjoy yourself but never stop learning! And yeah have a great weekend!

Goodbye!

 

Podcast S1 E6: Penny Wise, Pound Foolish!

Hi welcome to Lost in Labyrinth. Thank you for showering your love and comments. You will be happy to know Lost in Labyrinth now has close to 150 subscribers and is available on 8 platforms- Overcast for Apple being the latest addition. 

Overwhelmed with all the love, today I am about to share something very private to me. In my previous post I mentioned about the influences that shape one's personality. My grandfather's eldest brother, lovingly called Bade baba, is a person without whom none of my stories are complete. A renowned educationalist, he took me under his wing when I was very young. Most of my understanding of the world, which is manifested in my actions is through the prism of his learning. No matter what I say will never be enough in this man's glory. So I will just skip to one of the incidents. 

Bade baba taught me English among other things. I scored highest in my home city Agra, in class XIIth Boards and he was over the moon. Those were the times when calling on telephones were reserved for special occasions. I vividly remember how he called all the near and dear ones to inform that I scored the highest and that he tutored me. Our community organised a periodic gathering to felicitate the high achievers. I was one of them. On the day of the event,Excited he took out his special safari suit and prepped me, saying, to always be humble when receiving any award. And never forget to be thankful to people who made that possible even in the tiniest of manner!  Having spoken to him, I went ahead to get ready. It is now pertinent to mention at this juncture, that I was in my rebel-without-a-reason, teenage phase. Everyone got ready and just as we were prepared to leave I had a disagreement with my father. Upset with him, I decided to not attend the function. My grandfather being punctual; and highly perfectionist had left by then.

At the ceremony when my name was announced, he saw it was my sister that went to collect the trophy. He was clearly disappointed in me. When he came home, he asked for me. I was almost certain I would get an earful but instead he sat me down, held my hand and told me how our ego in that one short-lived moment just deprives us of a memory that will last us a lifetime. I lost him the next year, but believe me that remains one of my life's biggest repent! 

These golden words often come to my rescue when I am angry or upset with something. Have you ever felt this way? Like after all these years I don't even remember the inconsequential disagreement I had with my father that day. Do you ever feel, a decision taken with a clouded judgement can rip you off a memory or an experience that is an absolute absurdity in the hindsight. In economics it is called the opportunity cost. The cost of the forgone alternative. Did you ever feel that with your life choices- in personal life or at work? 

There was a story I read in my childhood, the significance of which I now understand. 

There was a man who had four sons. One day, out of the blue, he asked them to go and see a pear tree which was a great distance away. The first son went in winters, second in spring, third in summers and fourth in fall. Upon learning that all his sons had fulfilled his wish, he called them together to describe what they saw. The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no – it was covered with green buds and full of promise.The third son disagreed, he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.The last son refuted all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfilment. The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but one season in the tree’s life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are – and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life – can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfilment of your fall. Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. 

At work, not every variable is controllable. So foresee your decisions & choose your battles wisely. Emotional rationality is highly advised. Alternatively, talking about relationships in our lives, all associations should be based on two core elements- love and respect and in equal measure. A skewed proportion does us no good! 

And while on this subject don't compromise on your self- dignity but take a moment to assess what is at stake? Situations change but the path leading to the outcomes is essentially the same. Question- how much are you willing to give in and at what cost? While sometimes you may stand your ground and have it your way but always, always look at the big picture! Don't be up in arms about things you will forget tomorrow. Don't be  penny wise and pound foolish! 

Parting with the following interesting thought, I take your leave until next Friday!

Life is unpredictable

It changes with seasons,

Even your coldest winters

Happens for the best of reasons,

And though it feels eternal,

Like you'll ever do is freeze

I promise spring is coming,

And with it, brand new leaves!

Goodbye and have a joyous weekend!

Podcast S1 E5- Stamping Lives

Hi Welcome to Lost in Labyrinth. It's my pleasure to have you here!

I am a huge movie buff and can watch them back to back at a stretch! That has however changed bringing up 2 small children, and sometimes I wish to go back to those days of being an absolute couch potato!! But that's not why I am here. I am here to talk about a gem I stumbled upon a few months back. Good Will Hunting starring Matt Damon, Robin Williams, Ben Affleck. For all of those who missed out on watching this 1997 classic, I will lay it out briefly for you.

The class struggle is at the film's core.This well crafted film pieces psychological symmetries but in the just plain messiness of its humanity- that rings of life! Will, played by Matt Damon, who grew up as an abused foster child in tough South Boston, works as a janitor at MIT. He solves a complicated maths problem that stumped the students and professor alike. Upon searching,   the professor,played by Stellan Skarsgard, finds this person in jail for hitting a policeman. It doesn't take the prof long to realize,Will- this head strong, working class genius was failing the lessons of life.The professor gets him off and promises he'll work with Will and get him the psychiatric help. When Will manages to scare off  a string of therapist, the prof seeks out to his estranged friend from college, Sean, played by Robin Williams- who by the way won his only Oscar for portraying this role! Without giving much away, the psychiatrist forced him to deal with his past and Will discovers the only thing holding him back is himself! 

Narrating this film brings us to the topic today, the underlying theme- Life & Influences-something that makes or mars our existence.

I come from the family of educationalists. The more I sit to review my actions, I more I realize how subtle were the influences that shaped my personality!  Every single person is affected by 3 kinds of influences in their life:

Input- What you feed your mind

This is discretionary. Invest your time wisely, choose the medium you connect with the most and extract the best out of it- be it books, cinema, travel, experiences! Whatever lights your candle!

Associates- People who you spend your time with

While our family is the immediate sphere of influence we are brought up in. As we grow older, it is for us to decide what company we keep! Never underestimate the influence people have that you have allowed in your life. Most of the habits- good or bad have been picked from these people. So be discerning!

Environment- Your surrounding

Be selective about what your external influences are. Like other factors you can equally contribute into making your environment opportune. 

Our multi-dimensional persona is affected by everything we see, hear, read, smell, touch, feel or say!

As a parent, now, I am endowed with the huge responsibility of setting a proper example for my children. I can clearly see how that has influenced my choices in every aspect of life. Afterall children understand with eyes more than with ears.They imitate and internalize the behavior, the environment they are subjected to.

Additionally, try and influence your childrens' exposure to experiences, things, ideas and beliefs which will have far reaching impact on them in future. Give it a thought before handing kids with books,a fancy tablet or allowing them to watch a cartoon/movie. Sit and engage with them!! Last year at one of the press conferences when Twinkle Khanna spoke against handing girls with princess books, where they are some damsel in distress and need a prince to rescue them- it resonated deeply!! As a new age mother I want to influence my daughter into thinking that she is, and will be self sufficient among other things.

So today I dedicate this post to all the parents, teachers, mentors, friends, families and neighbors. Thanks for enriching our lives, sometimes knowingly and sometimes without! And hoping that may we become as instrumental in shaping the lives associated with us to the best of our capacity! May we continue to receive and impart, one that begets the other- a profound stamp!!

As someone rightly put, 

The teaching of one virtuous person can influence many;

That which has been learned well by one generation

Can be passed on to a hundred.

Untill the next Friday , good bye!

 

Podcast S1 E4 Success the coefficient of belief

Hi welcome to Lost in Labyrinth! Firstly I want to sincerely thank all for their love, time and feedback. Trust me that's how I want to tread this journey!

"Om Bhoor Bhuwah Swaha

Tat Savitur Varenyum

Bhargo Devasaya Dheemahi

Dhiyo Yona Prachodayat"

Gayatri Mantra believed to be the most powerful hymn in the world first appeared in Rig Veda between 1800 to 1500 BCE. Without plunging into any depths, I will talk about it's essence. It's a prayer unto the Self; Oh Divinity inspire and direct my intellect towards the righteousness. We pray that may our wisdom be freed from sins, criticism and negativity. And wish the same for others.

Sushant Singh Rajput, only 34 years of age with his enviable boyish charms, ended his life quite tragically. None of us knew him but somehow the loss feels so personal. A promising actor and a far greater academician, why did he lose hope to take such a drastic step? The conspiracy theories are ripe with speculations but somehow I can't gloss over the fact that he became dejected. Leading our lives I am sure all of us, at one point of the other felt that friends, society have judged us on our success. Class Xth grades, XIIth grades, admission in college, comparison with your kin and then for some skin color, body type, job with MNC, salary, marriage or the age you got married, kids and their upbringing - the list is endless! Honest to God, have you not despised such people? Which brings us to an important question- What is success? And what are the parameters to evaluate this glorious word?

Success simply means accomplishment of an aim or purpose. A goalpost that you set for yourself, which when achieved makes you successful! We most definitely need to reasses the parameters that define success. Stature, money, fame apparently don't cut it anymore! The rising cases of depression, anxiety, insecurity among the known, the wealthy proves the point. It is for you and you alone to decide what your objective is. It could be as simple as getting up early in the morning, shedding some extra kilos, learning or mastering a new craft, getting yourself employed again, anything!! Each to it's own! 

I wish to share with you two stories, that I read to my 5 year old. 

A group of frogs was travelling through the woods. Two of them fell into a deep pit. When the others frogs crowded around the pit, they saw how deep it was and they told the two frogs that there is no hope left for them. The 2 frogs, however, decided to ignore the rest and decided to try their luck. The frogs at the top kept commenting how impossible it is for both to jump out of that pit. Eventually one of the frog took heed to what others were saying and gave up, falling down to his death. The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. The frog on the top yelled. The frog jumped even harder and finally made it out! When he got out, the other frogs wondered," Did You not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf and this entire time he thought they were cheering for him!

A gentlemen was once walking through an elephant camp, when he noticed that elephants weren't kept in cages or held with chains. All that was holding them back from escaping the camp, was a small piece of tattered rope tied to one of their legs. The more he saw this, the more confused he got as to why the elephants didn't use their strength to free themselves from the camp and escape to the wild. He was bewildered with the thought why not one tried to free himself. Curious and wanting to know the answer, he asked the trainer nearby, why the elephants don't try to escape? The trainer replied, "When they were young and much smaller we use the same size of rope to hold them back. It was enough then! As they grew up, they believed they cannot escape. They believe the rope is still strong to hold them and they never try to break free!"

Both these stories are about belief. The frog who believed that everyone is rooting for him and he continued his journey. And the mighty elephants who were conditioned to believe they can't break free and they never challenged! Success is simply the coefficient of belief! All of us have listened or narrated these value-imparting stories in our life. Infact it is one of the most prominent medium of educating kids with life lessons. Be that as it may, growing up we become more inclined to heed  what others are saying. Listen, be mindful and extract what benefits you but don't take it to heart! To keep the sanity around you, just pray that the wisdom guides your action into a rightful doing. Wisdom that is free from the pressure of expectations, praises and criticisms.

In the end, I would just like to summarize by borrowing the beautiful lines from Late Atal Bihari Vajpayee when he was imprisoned during the emergency. 

**किन्तु फिर भी जूझने का प्रण

अंगद ने बढ़ाया चरण
प्राण-पण से करेंगे प्रतिकार
समर्पण की माँग अस्वीकार

दाँव पर सब कुछ लगा है, रुक नहीं सकते
टूट सकते हैं मगर हम झुक नहीं सकते।।

Goodbye, see you next Friday! 

**Lines loosely translated in English

No matter what the circumstances, take oath to grapple

Angad prepares to get a foothold (In Ramayan when Angad went to Lanka before the battle, he challenged Ravana to merely lift his feet off the ground. All high and mighty tried but failed. Eventually when Ravana gets up, Angad moves his feet and says- it is Lord Ram that you need to hold the feet of not mine.)Challenge with your life and soul

And to give up is unacceptable

You cannot stop because everything is at stake

We might be lost (loose life) in the process but we can't bow down/give up!

Podcast S1 E3- An ode to my forever Hero!

Hi, welcome to Lost in Labyrinth, to the new listeners and old! Its my pleasure to have you on my podcast and hopefully it could be for you too!

Does the history of a place intrigue you? Ever wondered whats the story behind a place being called what it is? I am sure most of us are aware of the famous airports around the world. I will cut to the chase and talk about the O'Hare International Airport of Chicago. Ever wondered what it is named after?  You see in early 1930's in US there was an unbeatable lawyer Easy Eddie. He was such a good lawyer that no matter what the charges were the authorities could never put Al Capone or his people in prison. He was so invaluable to the mafia that they gave him enormous wealth, best of cars, best of everything you can think of. To Easy Eddie his son was the most dear of all. One day it occurred to him, he has given his son everything money could buy except an example of a father, that he could be proud of. The more he thought about it, the more certain he got he had to help the government to put the mafia in prison. He testified and got many arrested knowing fully well he would be killed for this. And so he did! He paid a very heavy price to give his son a father the son could be proud of! He sacrificed his life for the greater good.

During the World War 2, Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. There was a man in United States Air Force. He single handedly foiled the preemptive, surprise attack on USS Lexington, his carrier boat. He saw there were 9 Japanese bombers and he alone charged at them. He made the 2 planes fall into the ocean. When his ammunition was finished he tried knocking off the wings of shooting planes and drowned another three. When 4 of the 9 remained, the Japanese thought this man is crazy and retreated. He was the first person in US Air Force to be awarded with the US Congregational Medal of Honor, the highest award there is! His name was  Butch O' Hare and the Airport of Chicago is named after him. He is the most brave and celebrated American hero! But what makes the story so interesting is that Butch O'Hare      was the son of Easy Eddie. That is the legacy a father left for his son!

No points for guessing today's podcast is about Fathers. While so much is always spoken about mothers and how they have brought up their children, role of father is usually undermined and not discussed as often. How totally unfair?! 

When I was in about 6th standard, my father (who would barely be caught active in this role) was giving me a dictation,a spelling test. Every time he would give me the word to write and lay  the text book infront of me, contrary to the convention of holding the book close to chest. I said you are supposed to hide the book so that I can't see. With a smile he said you will not see, if you don't wish to! Many a times at home or in moral science class in school we were taught about being honest, but that day this lesson drilled deep in my head. You see honesty, integrity, being steadfast is something I take after my father! He is never over the board or even on the board with display of his affection but time and again he subtly imparted the life lessons I am very very proud to be blessed with! 

My father-in-law and my father share the same name and command the same respect. Among many other things, recently when I shared with him that I wanted to start a podcast, he listened to the whole thing with a curiosity of a child and encouraged me to do it! Our previous generation is not very tech-savy and he is no exception. When the first episode came out, the link didn't function properly, he called some 3 times to check if there is any different link or a way to listen. He dedicated his whole day to get it right and finally victorious at the end of the day, he called me to say, he has downloaded Spotify and would use it every week just to listen to me! Not only does he have my name saved in his phone with the same prefix as his daughter, he also listens to me first and his son second. It is these little things that goes to say a lot about him as a father! 

I admire them, oh boy only if words could do justice! 

As a woman I needed a more hands-on father to my children. The changing times have witnessed evolving role for both parents. The transition that happened on both ends. The woman stepped out and the dads stepped in so as to speak. The fathers became more tactile with the upbringing and sharing the responsibility of raising a child. Right from their participation in pre-natal class to the complete know- how of diaper change, what a child eats, running them a bath, taking them for swimming/football etc, nursing them when sick or putting them to bed with an equal ease. I know because I see man around me doing it with aplomb. Afterall a man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child!

So today, through this platform, I applaud all the dads and father figures who are their daughter's first love and son's first hero! Dad the most ordinary man turned by love into heroes, adventurers, story-tellers, singers of song! People who wear an invisible cape day after day, everyday! May you continue to leave that indelible imprint in our lives. 

Happy Father's Day!

Catch you next Friday, Good bye!

Podcast S1 E2- Life Happened when you are busy making Plans!

Hi, Thank you everyone for listening to Lost in Labyrinth. I have had a very encouraging response. I will truly strive to be worthy of your time.

Today I want to begin by sharing with you all a very charming, short story that was a chance discovery for me, but gave me that much needed impetus. Impetus to do what, I will share in a brief moment. But the story first...Games at Twilight by Anita Desai, will surely transport most of us back to our childhood. This story opens on a hot afternoon in an urban house in India. The children who have been kept indoor to escape the scorching heat outside, when finally unleashed, decide to play a game of hide and seek.

The eldest Raghu, most revered by the cousins, becomes the seeker. Ravi, the central character, determines to win this game and hides behind the locked garage. As Raghu starts catching other children Ravi steels his resolve and slips through the abandoned gap in the shed. The dark, spooky shed filled from junk of yesteryears is frightening but the goal of not being found and beating Ravi in the game keeps him going. In the want to be recognized at the top of the so called pecking order, this shed becomes his welcome haven. Imagining the laurels he would receive he decides to wait a little longer. The light through the door is getting softer and he can hear other children's voices outside. It makes him wonder how can the game get over without him being found? And it occurs to Ravi while he was so occupied to elude the seeker, he forgot to declare his victory by dashing across the veranda and ringing the cry of Den! With a whimper he slips through the crack, reaches the veranda and at the white pillar shouts Den!Den! There is a despair in his voice. The other children stop and stare at him for a while and then resume the game they were playing. The sense of insignificance hits him and he looses all the interest in playing the other game. 

The whole story beautifully captures the human emotions- of innocence and disappointment, of fantasies and disillusionment. And most importantly, not to be so occupied with your victory or the idea of it that the life slips away. As they say,' Life happened when we were busy making plans!' 

Always a career minded and career oriented woman, I never imagined myself in a role of a home maker. Becoming one showed me the immense mental and physical strength that goes into pulling the duties off this thankless job. Coming from India, you come to realize how privileged it is to have house help! And while discharging the daily chores how it gradually becomes ok to do everything on your own. No dependence, no shame! I shall however talk about this in my subsequent episodes. 

But today I want to talk about how not to be Ravi. Don't let the moments slip you by in desire of something bigger or greater! Taking my case here(quite literally) I have always conditioned myself and have always aspired to be a career woman. But life had other plans! So how do you think I maintain my sanity doing things I am not particularly fond of. I love my children and family but needs more from life then just spending my time at home. Being gregarious at heart, I am more of an outdoor person. So how then I keep my wits around me? The simple answer to this question is by doing things that are meaningful to me, wholly and solely for me!  You need to give yourself that time in the day! Activities that enhances your Self-worth! Recognize and acknowledge the contrast between Self worth and self- importance. This time of pandemic showed us just that! The mandated lockdown across the globe, urged us to dwell within and engage in activities that are truly pleasurable for us and how! Instead of looking for engagements outside, we focused on learning and developing skills that are much more significant to us. Almost everyone I knew tried something different and proudly shared it with the world! So here I want to give a big shout out to all those who discovered the artists, the cooks, the reader, the enthusiast in them! Discover, explore, do, develop and trust that magic of beginning!

And with the following parting thought I leave you till the next Friday!

Be the " Lighting that mocks the night, Brief even as Bright!"

Catch you soon!

Lost in Labyrinth- Podcast S1E1

Hi

I surely missed this space! With so much happened over this time- starting a family, change of cities, countries and what not. But that is not why I am here for. I am here to use this space more religiously. Being worldly wise, atleast in my eyes, I have started a podcast with the same handle. 

Somehow this title resonates with me the most! I shall be publishing the content for podcast here for people who love reading more than listening. So without much ado, here' s presenting the intro to my podcast- Lost in Labyrinth.

Paulo Coelho said, " One day you will wake up and there won't be any more time to do things you've always wanted to do!" and as I speak I am still wondering what took me so long to get started? I have always enjoyed speaking tad more than listening, to be honest.

A carefree wanderer, an adventurist & experimentalist. Being hopelessly optimistic ;New and Transient excites me- infact that to me is beautiful! I am a 35 year young, Indian woman who values relationship more than anything. I am a mother of two, a wife and is blessed to belong to a close knit family both on my and my partners side. Having a big joint family is integral to the very fabric of India. 

Presently based out of London, it is this I miss the most. And it led me thinking- how can I ensure my kids who are growing up in changing geographies so very often, have that broad bandwidth of values that I had, being raised in India.

Lost in Labyrinth talks about the evangelizing journey of womanhood, parenting, life and influences. While striving to get the balance right, I'd like to share my success and more celebrated unsuccess stories. Together on this steep learning curve you will be a part of the relatable stories, experiences and the unceremonious everyday battles- finding a way to get it right!

This weekly podcast contains the exuberant cheerfulness, flippancy, the joy in life and, above all, the ability to appreciate the lighter side of things.