Podcast S1 E8: Change: the 'New Normal'

Hi welcome back to Lost in Labyrinth. Its my pleasure to have you with me!

Allow me to set a context for today's topic........ The Covid calamity that we are facing not only brought to fore how resilient we actually are but it also brought to spotlight the battles each one of us is fighting! Among the things we are most sure about is the uncertainty that these times made us witness. The ripple effect from the disease is felt world wide whether on work front or otherwise. And the only thing staring in our face in these ambiguous times is, dropping a C-word here, is Change. Change that has truly emerged as the only constant. Which brings us to the more apt question, what is our aptitude towards change? Do we welcome a change or despise it? What is our change readiness? 

Let me attempt at putting this in perspective, through a short story. This is a story about a little kid who lost his father when he was only 5. By 16, he quit school and the following year he had already lost 4 jobs. By 18 he was married and by the end of his teenage years he was father to a daughter. At 20 his wife left him. He was working as a Railroad conductor when he decided to join the Army, but was washed out. He applied for law school but was rejected. He became an insurance sales man but failed again. He then became a cook and a dishwasher at a small cafe. At 65, he retired and the government send him a cheque of $105. He felt like a failure and was so dejected and wanted to commit a suicide. He sat down to write his will, but instead he began writing what would he have done with his life. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became he is a cook second to none. Determined he got up, borrowed another $87. And made something special using his special recipe. Care to venture a guess?!       This man was Colonel Harland Sanders who sold his very special fried chicken. By 88, he was a billionaire with KFC being the second largest food chain in the world and a presence in 123 countries.

Change and transition goes hand in hand. Sometimes it is a disappointment and sometimes a wonderful surprise. But one thing is amply clear that progress is impossible without change! So then how do we cope with change? It's a 5 fold process.

Firstly stop expecting stability- remember change is hardest in the beginning, messiest in the middle and best in the end!

Second, accept the past and fight for the future you deem is rightful

Third, focus on values more than fear

Fourth, instead of talking about problems, think about solutions

And fifth, don't stress about stressing!- If you can find humor in the whole situation that is very uplifting.

As an Indian woman we are subjected to more changes than in most of the countries. For one when we marry, suddenly a carefree girl is expected to be a perfect woman. Bless my in-laws, not everyone is as lucky! And once you are a mother, ohh boy, that is an entirely new league! Everything changes physically, mentally, emotionally, metaphysically and/or any other realms there maybe. No wonder theory goes woman is better suited to handle change than their male counterparts. Even countries with female leadership were better at handling the Covid crisis. Well I am clearly digressing here.

So moving on, don't assign a time stamp to the outcome of the change. London is 5 hours ahead of Washington, but that doesn't make Washington slow. Or that Obama retired at 55 and Trump only began at 70. The examples are dime a dozen- Ronald Reagan didn't make it to Hollywood but became the 40th US President and for consecutively 2 terms between 1981 to 1989. Or Peter Roget, who invented Thesaurus at the age of 73.

My point being Change. Change is risky but also beautiful. With each change you discover more of yourself. So embrace the uncertainty, keep that unwavering spirit to plunge and join the dance!

Like Socrates rightly put,

" The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old,

   But on building the New."

Good bye and have a pleasant weekend!

Podcast S1 E7: Ignorance is Bliss!!

Hi it's so good to welcome you back to Lost in Labyrinth. And a warm hello to the new listeners!

Recently I came across something that just caught my attention,            the Dork Day observed on July 15th every year. Upon researching, I found there is no documented origin of the day but this day encourages us to celebrate our imperfections, by doing things " dorky" ! There is no need to be prim or proper, but a day to completely disregard norms or what others think is acceptable. A day to celebrate being clumsy, goofy, a social misfit! I certainly have some ideas!!       Do you have any secret desire to do something you always wanted to do but the societal norms got the better of you?? 

Taking this a step further have you ever enjoyed being silly or ignorant?Will love to hear some of your stories.

Recounting my childhood days, I have literally thanked God, still do, for being ignorant. Talking about the summers of 2001, not every home had internet and I wasn't into reading newspapers and all. I had given my class Xth boards and was having the time of my life, reading Sidney Sheldons by the day and playing and catching up with friends in the evening- basically idling and goofing around. Our dot phone was out of order for a couple of days- not that I cared, but its been some days since I last spoke with my school friends! One afternoon just as I was about to sit for lunch, my grandfather came calling, asking how did I fare in my Boards? To tell you honestly, I didn't think about the results or exams the minute after I submitted my last answer sheet. And suddenly out of no where the results were out! I was made to finish my food and I then went to my school, which was just a stone throw away! I had passed with distinction and just like that the first milestone of student's life was accomplished! It breaks my heart to see the pressure, the anxiety, the stress little kids now endure in anticipation of their results. Drawing a parallel to the two scenarios, I found my bliss in being ignorant! I could truly enjoy, my result in its true essence in that moment, without the paraphernalia leading to it, which has surprisingly become an accepted norm these days. 

US and Russia have always been at loggerheads. In early 1960s, there was a conflict over Russian missiles in Cuba. The Russians conceded to moving their missiles as long as US moved their installations from Turkey. US under the leadership JFK, was unaware about any of their installations in Turkey were simply told that Russians were made to back down from Cuba. Much alike Russians who said Americans were forced to remove their missiles from Turkey under the great Russian leadership! The public being none the wiser!! 

Some people consider ignorance and stupidity to be synonymous. And hence the word / the adjective is frowned upon. Ever heard anyone state being ignorant as a weakness while giving an interview?

Now consider this, a child enjoys his trip to Disney Land without a worry of the money spent on the trip. Or would you be able to enjoy the slice of that decadent chocolate cake knowing each slice has roughly 450 calories? While knowledge is Power, ignorance sometimes leads you to that unblemished joy of the moment!! Ignorance, simply put, is just a lack of knowledge. Which can be acquired over the time with an intent. On a positive side, being ignorant gives you a pursuit to learn something. It is that blessing in disguise that provides you with the urge to try something new; which eventually most of us do knowing there is something we are unaware of. Even the Major Arcana Fool's card in Tarot depicts a youth joyfully undertaking his journey. It is a card that signifies infinite potential, new beginnings filled with optimism and freedom from the usual constraints of life. He inspires courage for he understands that everyday is a chance to open up new areas in your life and with that comes a mixture of anticipation, wonder, awe and curiosity. Just the lens we need to see our ignorance with.

So next time don't be ashamed if you are caught unaware about something. Enjoy the bliss of the moment and gear up to embark on an adventurous journey! Afterall it is said,

"To admit ignorance is the highest knowledge. It is the highest condition for all learning."

So my dear dorks, enjoy yourself but never stop learning! And yeah have a great weekend!

Goodbye!

 

Podcast S1 E6: Penny Wise, Pound Foolish!

Hi welcome to Lost in Labyrinth. Thank you for showering your love and comments. You will be happy to know Lost in Labyrinth now has close to 150 subscribers and is available on 8 platforms- Overcast for Apple being the latest addition. 

Overwhelmed with all the love, today I am about to share something very private to me. In my previous post I mentioned about the influences that shape one's personality. My grandfather's eldest brother, lovingly called Bade baba, is a person without whom none of my stories are complete. A renowned educationalist, he took me under his wing when I was very young. Most of my understanding of the world, which is manifested in my actions is through the prism of his learning. No matter what I say will never be enough in this man's glory. So I will just skip to one of the incidents. 

Bade baba taught me English among other things. I scored highest in my home city Agra, in class XIIth Boards and he was over the moon. Those were the times when calling on telephones were reserved for special occasions. I vividly remember how he called all the near and dear ones to inform that I scored the highest and that he tutored me. Our community organised a periodic gathering to felicitate the high achievers. I was one of them. On the day of the event,Excited he took out his special safari suit and prepped me, saying, to always be humble when receiving any award. And never forget to be thankful to people who made that possible even in the tiniest of manner!  Having spoken to him, I went ahead to get ready. It is now pertinent to mention at this juncture, that I was in my rebel-without-a-reason, teenage phase. Everyone got ready and just as we were prepared to leave I had a disagreement with my father. Upset with him, I decided to not attend the function. My grandfather being punctual; and highly perfectionist had left by then.

At the ceremony when my name was announced, he saw it was my sister that went to collect the trophy. He was clearly disappointed in me. When he came home, he asked for me. I was almost certain I would get an earful but instead he sat me down, held my hand and told me how our ego in that one short-lived moment just deprives us of a memory that will last us a lifetime. I lost him the next year, but believe me that remains one of my life's biggest repent! 

These golden words often come to my rescue when I am angry or upset with something. Have you ever felt this way? Like after all these years I don't even remember the inconsequential disagreement I had with my father that day. Do you ever feel, a decision taken with a clouded judgement can rip you off a memory or an experience that is an absolute absurdity in the hindsight. In economics it is called the opportunity cost. The cost of the forgone alternative. Did you ever feel that with your life choices- in personal life or at work? 

There was a story I read in my childhood, the significance of which I now understand. 

There was a man who had four sons. One day, out of the blue, he asked them to go and see a pear tree which was a great distance away. The first son went in winters, second in spring, third in summers and fourth in fall. Upon learning that all his sons had fulfilled his wish, he called them together to describe what they saw. The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no – it was covered with green buds and full of promise.The third son disagreed, he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.The last son refuted all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfilment. The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but one season in the tree’s life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are – and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life – can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfilment of your fall. Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. 

At work, not every variable is controllable. So foresee your decisions & choose your battles wisely. Emotional rationality is highly advised. Alternatively, talking about relationships in our lives, all associations should be based on two core elements- love and respect and in equal measure. A skewed proportion does us no good! 

And while on this subject don't compromise on your self- dignity but take a moment to assess what is at stake? Situations change but the path leading to the outcomes is essentially the same. Question- how much are you willing to give in and at what cost? While sometimes you may stand your ground and have it your way but always, always look at the big picture! Don't be up in arms about things you will forget tomorrow. Don't be  penny wise and pound foolish! 

Parting with the following interesting thought, I take your leave until next Friday!

Life is unpredictable

It changes with seasons,

Even your coldest winters

Happens for the best of reasons,

And though it feels eternal,

Like you'll ever do is freeze

I promise spring is coming,

And with it, brand new leaves!

Goodbye and have a joyous weekend!

Podcast S1 E5- Stamping Lives

Hi Welcome to Lost in Labyrinth. It's my pleasure to have you here!

I am a huge movie buff and can watch them back to back at a stretch! That has however changed bringing up 2 small children, and sometimes I wish to go back to those days of being an absolute couch potato!! But that's not why I am here. I am here to talk about a gem I stumbled upon a few months back. Good Will Hunting starring Matt Damon, Robin Williams, Ben Affleck. For all of those who missed out on watching this 1997 classic, I will lay it out briefly for you.

The class struggle is at the film's core.This well crafted film pieces psychological symmetries but in the just plain messiness of its humanity- that rings of life! Will, played by Matt Damon, who grew up as an abused foster child in tough South Boston, works as a janitor at MIT. He solves a complicated maths problem that stumped the students and professor alike. Upon searching,   the professor,played by Stellan Skarsgard, finds this person in jail for hitting a policeman. It doesn't take the prof long to realize,Will- this head strong, working class genius was failing the lessons of life.The professor gets him off and promises he'll work with Will and get him the psychiatric help. When Will manages to scare off  a string of therapist, the prof seeks out to his estranged friend from college, Sean, played by Robin Williams- who by the way won his only Oscar for portraying this role! Without giving much away, the psychiatrist forced him to deal with his past and Will discovers the only thing holding him back is himself! 

Narrating this film brings us to the topic today, the underlying theme- Life & Influences-something that makes or mars our existence.

I come from the family of educationalists. The more I sit to review my actions, I more I realize how subtle were the influences that shaped my personality!  Every single person is affected by 3 kinds of influences in their life:

Input- What you feed your mind

This is discretionary. Invest your time wisely, choose the medium you connect with the most and extract the best out of it- be it books, cinema, travel, experiences! Whatever lights your candle!

Associates- People who you spend your time with

While our family is the immediate sphere of influence we are brought up in. As we grow older, it is for us to decide what company we keep! Never underestimate the influence people have that you have allowed in your life. Most of the habits- good or bad have been picked from these people. So be discerning!

Environment- Your surrounding

Be selective about what your external influences are. Like other factors you can equally contribute into making your environment opportune. 

Our multi-dimensional persona is affected by everything we see, hear, read, smell, touch, feel or say!

As a parent, now, I am endowed with the huge responsibility of setting a proper example for my children. I can clearly see how that has influenced my choices in every aspect of life. Afterall children understand with eyes more than with ears.They imitate and internalize the behavior, the environment they are subjected to.

Additionally, try and influence your childrens' exposure to experiences, things, ideas and beliefs which will have far reaching impact on them in future. Give it a thought before handing kids with books,a fancy tablet or allowing them to watch a cartoon/movie. Sit and engage with them!! Last year at one of the press conferences when Twinkle Khanna spoke against handing girls with princess books, where they are some damsel in distress and need a prince to rescue them- it resonated deeply!! As a new age mother I want to influence my daughter into thinking that she is, and will be self sufficient among other things.

So today I dedicate this post to all the parents, teachers, mentors, friends, families and neighbors. Thanks for enriching our lives, sometimes knowingly and sometimes without! And hoping that may we become as instrumental in shaping the lives associated with us to the best of our capacity! May we continue to receive and impart, one that begets the other- a profound stamp!!

As someone rightly put, 

The teaching of one virtuous person can influence many;

That which has been learned well by one generation

Can be passed on to a hundred.

Untill the next Friday , good bye!